‘Please, don’t understand me too quickly.’ Yes. The quick judgments we make are often so very wrong. Along with that, I would add, "Please don't judge me by my age. Wait and discover who I am. I loved this: "...people cannot simply be weighed and measured like a bag of flour or a length of string...." Excellent post, Matt.
That is an excellent quote. I overheard some friends talking about me when I was at university once and they were sneering about how boring I was. I quietly distanced myself from them but for years felt I could only be interesting in company after a few drinks. Now I am comfortable with knowing that I am rubbish at small talk and that relationships are an investment in time to get beyond that. Of course, there are people you never get beyond that with - it is perfectly fine to find one another dull. But you have to make the effort to find out. I hope that makes sense!
Hi Catherine. Nice to see you here and thank you for commenting. I'm sorry you went through that at university; I had something similar when I was younger, and ill-equipped to deal with it. These days I'm quite comfortable to be doing my own thing, to be thought dull, to be in just my own company at public events... And finding bits of a community that you like and that like you is wonderful. x
Interesting article plus many of us are not as confident as we appear to others.
Often best to stand back and consider before judging, although originally coming from North Yorkshire, this is not in my DNA. I do try to temper my expectations, however I give vexatious types a very wide berth. 😍
Thank you, Pauline. I was painfully shy as a child. I think I was 21 by the time I started feeling more confident and sure in myself. There are some people who show too much of themselves on first encounters to warrant a second chance, I think we agree on that. You wear your North-Yorkshireness well. x
so well observed! it is something very relevant to me at this moment. I find myself in a difficult process of trying to refrain more and more from being judgmental when I have been exactly this and too much and quickly so, for so so many years. thank you for this insightful poignant piece!
Thanks Mark. And yes: I think that could be a big part of it: to quickly bring things not so much under our control, more not so much 'out' of our control...
Thank you… and I think context is sometimes a big factor when asking the question: unlikely to consistently be the most interesting/most boring person in the room when that room can change from library to a friend’s dining room to a nightclub… etc. Happy to be thought or find myself being boring these days. x
‘Please, don’t understand me too quickly.’ Yes. The quick judgments we make are often so very wrong. Along with that, I would add, "Please don't judge me by my age. Wait and discover who I am. I loved this: "...people cannot simply be weighed and measured like a bag of flour or a length of string...." Excellent post, Matt.
That is an excellent quote. I overheard some friends talking about me when I was at university once and they were sneering about how boring I was. I quietly distanced myself from them but for years felt I could only be interesting in company after a few drinks. Now I am comfortable with knowing that I am rubbish at small talk and that relationships are an investment in time to get beyond that. Of course, there are people you never get beyond that with - it is perfectly fine to find one another dull. But you have to make the effort to find out. I hope that makes sense!
Hi Catherine. Nice to see you here and thank you for commenting. I'm sorry you went through that at university; I had something similar when I was younger, and ill-equipped to deal with it. These days I'm quite comfortable to be doing my own thing, to be thought dull, to be in just my own company at public events... And finding bits of a community that you like and that like you is wonderful. x
Matt, you could never be described as boring!
Interesting article plus many of us are not as confident as we appear to others.
Often best to stand back and consider before judging, although originally coming from North Yorkshire, this is not in my DNA. I do try to temper my expectations, however I give vexatious types a very wide berth. 😍
Thank you, Pauline. I was painfully shy as a child. I think I was 21 by the time I started feeling more confident and sure in myself. There are some people who show too much of themselves on first encounters to warrant a second chance, I think we agree on that. You wear your North-Yorkshireness well. x
so well observed! it is something very relevant to me at this moment. I find myself in a difficult process of trying to refrain more and more from being judgmental when I have been exactly this and too much and quickly so, for so so many years. thank you for this insightful poignant piece!
Thank you, Ivy. I like to think I don't rush... Always questioning my boringness, however... ;)
Marvellous. I wonder if we rush to judge/understand as it helps make the world seem a touch less insecure, a little more known, even if not in reality
Thanks Mark. And yes: I think that could be a big part of it: to quickly bring things not so much under our control, more not so much 'out' of our control...
Love that quote ❤️
It's a beauty, isn't it? Thanks for reading, Jo. x
I often ask the question of myself…beautifully written Matt!
Thank you, Ranji. Boring people of the world: unite!
Beautifully written Matt. Much to contemplate
Thank you Christine, and from a fellow introvert, I suspect! x
I like Chris.
Chris is lovely. I'd start a fan club for him if he wasn't so dull.
As the day has gone on, I’m starting to get bored of Chris.
Thank you… and I think context is sometimes a big factor when asking the question: unlikely to consistently be the most interesting/most boring person in the room when that room can change from library to a friend’s dining room to a nightclub… etc. Happy to be thought or find myself being boring these days. x